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What is tantra massage, really?

tantra massage 2

tantra massage 2Just like the word Tantra, there are many misunderstandings and misuses of the term “tantra massage”. In many minds this conjures up instantly a massage with a “happy ending”, or in other words a sexual release. Of course there are people calling their massage “tantra massage” and doing exactly this, and so it is not entirely surprising for this wide-spread belief!!

However, the role of massage in the path of Tantra can be much deeper and more profound. A massage given for sexual pleasure could more accurately be called an “erotic massage”, leaving the term “tantra massage” to encompass another realm of experience entirely. What, then, is a tantra massage?

Tantra is itself a vast and total life path of spiritual awakening. Ancient tantric texts such as Vigyan Bhairav Tantra contain hundreds of methods of awakening, such as eating in a mindful way, meditating upon the sensation of an ant walking upon your skin, and meditative sexual union methods. This ancient text (some say it could be even as much as 5000 years old) includes the meditation of touch:

 “Sweet Princess,” (says Shiva to Shakti) “whilst being caressed, enter the caress as ever-lasting life.”

Can touch, then, be a portal to the eternal? If we enter the caress totally, can we too enter the realm of everlasting life? Can we get a glimpse of the eternal life beyond the impermanent world that we see? How is it that this transition happens?

Tantra is the union of opposites, the meeting of yin and yang. Not only the meeting, but also the divine union that takes us beyond the apparent separation. Thus Tantra invites in apparent opposites, or polarities, to dance together. Tantra massage is this invitation through the bodily form, through touch, through the senses and through flows of energy.

One of the ways in which tantra massage differs from normal massage is in the fact that both yin and yang energies are included. A standard massage, like you would get in a spa, focuses only on the yin energy- that of relaxation. A tantra massage includes both yin relaxing energies and yang stimulating energies. A masterful tantra massage weaves between relaxation and stimulation like a masterpiece of music would build up and break down. This weaving, dancing, meeting and uniting of polar energies will bring a fulfilling sense of completeness and a deep sense of peace.

Because tantra massage works with energy, it is possible to give one without even touching the sexual organs. Yin and yang energies can be stimulated and rested through the spine and through the energy body. People can even attain full body orgasmic experiences with their clothes still on! (but please note that orgasmic states are not an essential part of tantra massage).

www.tantra-essence.com

www.tantra-essence.com

However, if the client choses and the conditions are suitable (legal situation etc) then the genitals might be included to unify the sexual organs with the rest of the body. Too often we treat the sexual organs as separate, and then they feel energetically cut off from the rest of the body. It is extremely hard to have a full body orgasmic experience when the genitals are feeling separate from the whole.

Tantra massage facilitates the union of sexual organs with the rest of the body, and thus the union of sexual energy with all other life force energy flowing through us. Even if the receiver does not have a very orgasmic experience during the actual massage, they will find that it makes a difference to the way their energy flows in them the next time they make love. Many couples have received great benefits for their love-life through such healing.

Sexual organ massage can also help release past sexual traumas, when given by a well-trained therapist. Please note the emphasis on “well-trained”! When the therapist knows how to create a safe space, this can support the receiver’s healing process. It is not so much that the massage therapist is healing the recipient…more that they are supporting the recipient’s healing journey.

On that note, a huge part of the healing benefits of tantra massage is to surrender into a safe space. “Safe” is that the therapist is a therapist, and not a lover. The interaction with a lover is different from with a therapist. Lovers exchange energy (and in fact also engage in a complex web of karma).

A well-trained therapist, on the other hand, will simply hold clear space. They may observe the client’s flow of sexual energy, but they do not engage with it or exchange energy with them. This allows the recipient to surrender in a deeper way, and to access deep levels of vulnerability. To engage with a receiver in their vulnerable state would be a violation from the therapist, and it is wise to find a massage therapist with clear boundaries on this issue.

 

Sadly this field of massage is generally not very well-regulated. When you book a tantra massage, you never know what you will get! Here are some general guidelines to help you find a suitable practitioner:

 

  • Ask the therapist if they have their own tantric practice. They may practice tantric yoga, qigong or tantric meditations. Any of these practices will enhance their ability to give a true tantric transmission.
  • You can ask the therapist what is the aim with the sexual energy in the massage. If they say “to have an orgasm” or “to be pleasured until release”, then this is an erotic massage. If they say something like “to help you to relax around sexual energy and let it flow around the whole body” or “to feel relaxed and natural in the whole body”, then this is more likely a tantric massage.
  • Check what their boundaries are: “Do you engage in a sexual intimate way with your clients?” Look for a therapist with clear and professional boundaries. Trust is essential for surrender to happen.
  • Remember: as a woman you can receive tantra massage from another woman. If you have past trust issues with men, then this can be good at least for your initial treatments.
  • If you want to receive tantric massage but cannot find a therapist you want to work with, another option if to go with a lover or close friend of the opposite sex to a workshop on tantra massage. There are workshops designed just for the participants to learn to give and receive tantra massage. In this way you can receive the healing benefits.

 


 

tantra massage 3

 

Train in Tao Tantric Arts with Shashi Solluna

www.taotantricarts.com

 

 

Comments 36

    1. Post
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      shashisolluna

      We have some classes in India, including a meditation pilgrimage to Khajaraho. Also Zorba the Buddha centre in Delhi host a number of tantric meditation workshops which I will be teaching at. Blessings on your path.

      1. Raj Singh

        Dear shadhi
        Do you have programme to come in india in 2016.
        Because i wana join you in zorba ds buddha.
        Thx
        Raj

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  1. Bella

    Shashi, great article! Many people who I converse with about Tantra, their opinion is narrow and stereotypical. But of course, this would be the case with those who are not in touch with the tantric experience. Your article really does sum up Tantra massage well!

  2. bless

    Re.: “Safe” is that the therapist is a therapist, and not a lover. The interaction with a lover is different from with a therapist. Lovers exchange energy (and in fact also engage in a complex web of karma).
    I like your concise explanation of tantra massage, but personally never really come to believe that a therapist would ever become capable of not exchanging energy or engaging in the client’s personal karma and vice versa.. in this case the therapist would block own energy flow and therefore not be open enough to understand and feel own flow nor the subject’s flow well enough as to facilitate healing. To me it always sounds as a clear paradox, because in the case that therapist has actually so much training, enabling this person to not interfere at energetic level.. means that a good therapist is no good anymore because not an actively loving person, but more pathetic than sympathetic. Why do people insist on this kind of hypocrisy? You would never refute exchange of energy during tantra massage to take place, would you? because it would not be healing if not.. tantra ought not to be considered something elevated or sublime to my view, when it is plainly a ‘play’ or a ‘dance’.. the old words are good enough! Even when spiritual levels are engaged in these activities, and between two persons, whatever you call them and at whatever level they may know eachother. If an alibi in the shape of another terminology is needed for a loving relationship (or spiritual exchange) i.e. healing with another person that is not necessarily committed in the outer world, then go for it! Peace with me, I just call it hipocrisy.. (payment or not). I am not sure that my kicker is understandable, nevertheless it is meant sincerely and I therefore look forward to reading some comments that may reflect my ‘objection’ has been conceived!

    1. Post
      Author
      shashisolluna

      Great points!

      There is a way to feel energy and follow it and a way to feel energy and remain lucid. If two people set up an agreement then it is important to hold that agreement. If one feels that they cant anymore, they should simply say so. I have once in my life halted a massage because I felt intimately attracted and could not hold a therapeutic space anymore. What’s important is to co-create a container, a set of agreements that you think you can keep to, and to communicate if you thing things have changed and you cannot any more. Because the effect of being held space for and being interacted with is different. Neither is better or worse, but if we choose one way that that’s what we should be doing. It can feel like a violation if we agreed to hold space but later jump in there with our personal desires. And the recipient can feel the difference.

      In my experience, only really well trained tantrics, who have done years of self practices, yoga and breathing practices can really hold such a space.

      If two people want consensual sex, then that’s another matter! Go for it!

  3. hilary

    Great article. Do you know of any tantric massage trainings or workshops in thailand or asia? Thanks 🙂

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  4. Tushar

    Hi Shashi,
    Can I experience the Tantra Massage in Zorba the Buddha, or is there any other place in India.

    Regards

    1. Post
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  5. khurshed

    are ua classes held in Mumbai ? because im very eager to learn the Tantra Massage and learn its benefits too .

    1. Post
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      shashisolluna

      No we don’t. It is tricky to work in India. Osho felt that certain groundwork needs to be done before delving in too deep, as the cultural attitudes to intimacy need to be addressed first.

  6. Intrigued?

    Hello,

    I’ve just recently discovered these type of massages.
    I will be traveling to Hong Kong in January to visit a dear friend of mine. While researching on Hong Kong I’ve came across these types of massages. I’m interested in doing the tantra massage as described here as it may help me in a lot of different ways. However, I am concern since I do not simply wish to receive an erotic massage or a happy ending. Could you possibly give me any more advice in regards to this? This might be a silly question but how safe are these types of massages?

    1. Post
      Author
      shashisolluna

      You are right to be cautious. There is SO much calling itself “tantric” but actually not at all. Follow the guidelines I laid out here. Perhaps even contact a reputable tantric massage training school for a trained professional. And the other good option is to try and find people who can give references of a massage they received. A third option is to attend a tantric massage training with a trustable friend you can work with. Hopefully this field will become regulated at some point.

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  7. sunil

    Shashi can you pl let me know on the upcoming tantra workshop in India. I would love to attend. Please send me the complete details.

    Thankyou.

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  8. Bindumadhava

    Does tantrik massage invilves intercourse also with the massager, and have you ever came across such situation

    1. Post
      Author
      shashisolluna

      Tantric massage is about moving energy. If it is therapeutic then the masseuse does not move their own energy or get involved, including no sexual intercourse. A well-trained professional knows how to mov your energy without getting intimate with you at all.

      I have, sadly, come across a man who was offering massage but moving into sex, but in the end enough women started to complain. It is a real problem in the Tantra field, that some people abuse the situation. Possibly one day the field needs to become regulated.

  9. Tantra

    Tantra massage represent an intimate massage technique that encourages relaxation and create a more intimate relationship between partners through rhythmic breathing and energy exchange.

  10. BrianAmord

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