168

Darkness: Return to the Source

darkness retreat

darkness retreat

I have chosen a life of adventure. I have stayed with tribes in longhouses in the jungle, trekked across deserts on camelback, slept in caves, camped for weeks on uninhabited islands…all of which have brought much richness to my life experience. Yet when asked what is the most profound experience of my life, I am tempted to choose the weeks that I have spend in complete and utter darkness, 24-7. The Darkness Retreats.

A darkness retreat is to take oneself out of everyday living and retreat into a special location into which not one single shaft of light can enter. I was lucky to join Master Mantak Chia twice on his darkness retreats whilst I lived and studied at his resort in Northern Thailand. Like a blind person, you feel you way from your private sleeping quarters to the main area where we undertake guided meditations and practices every day. All of your practices, teachings, meditations, eating, bathroom-duties and sleeping…everything is undertaken in pitch pitch darkness.

At first this consisted of a lot of stumbling in the dark, getting lost or taking a very long time to do anything. However, something incredible happened; after two or three days I found that I could see without seeing! Some new sense had arisen, and I could only call that sense “faith”. Perhaps this is what they call “blind faith”! Somehow when I completely trusted, I could simply reach out and take hold of something as if I knew it was there. If I started to try to find things, I would get lost again…it only worked with complete trust and surrender!

Time did strange shifts in the darkness. It stretched on into eternity, but not in a boring way. I was so relaxed I felt that I was shimmering in bliss. Each moment was boundless and vast. I remember one time sitting on my bed in meditation pose ready for the three-hour lunch break. I sat, focused on the state of bliss, and then…ding ding: the bell went! I could not believe three hours had passed!

Another huge joy was making sound. Singing and toning is a huge joy for me anyway, but in darkness when the chanting classes came along (which I had the pleasure of leading) it was exquisite! Out of the vast silence and darkness, each sound was birthed into being and dissolved back into that same abyss. It was like watching existence creating and destroying itself!

Eating was also a deep pleasure. Food was delivered by staff wearing infrared goggles (they could see us but we could not see them!). The smell of the food was magnified. I ended up eating with my hands because you could not see how full your fork was loaded!

light in the darkI discovered a special affinity to what in Taoist Nutrition is called “yin foods”…root vegetables were superb. My favourite was mushrooms, not a food I usually choose. Perhaps because they are grown in the darkness they have a special resonance. I would taste the food in my mouth and watch it being chewed until it no longer existed.

But the highlight of this whole rich experience was the taste of love. I’m not talking about some love story I had in the darkroom, but a meditation experience. When I could not see my physical boundaries everyday reinforcing my belief in my separateness, my whole self-experience shifted. In fact it shifted beyond the usual limitations of self.

The result of this perception of expansion was an experience of love that I had never previously known in my limited perception of reality. I remember lying on the floor in meditation, and suddenly I was aware of all other people in the space, as if I could just feel our energy bodies, or our auras pulsing together. And there was no separation between them, as there is with physical bodies. It was like one big ocean of presence. Instead of being made of water, the ocean was made of love.

I found myself crying in bliss…a huge sense of relief. And something familiar…as if I had finally returned to that which I had always somehow known. Home. A return to love; not a love that belongs to anyone or anything, but The Love that we always were, and just somehow forgot.

Like an ocean, a womb. The primordial womb. Is this the place we came from before the life of separate form and separate self and separate personalities? Just a vast sea of love, waves of blissful loving presence. Is all of “separation life” just a journey outside of this, in which we forget our true nature as Love and spend our whole life searching again for that Love? Is this what we return to after we have let go of the physical form? There is no fear in this vast love. It is impossible.

Naturally I did not want to come out of the Darkness Retreat! Couldn’t I just stay in this bliss forever? But my time had come to be born again into the world of vision and sight. We all left at night-time whilst wearing sunglasses, as even the night could seem too bright. Two people from the outside would hold you (the midwives!) as you cannot stand up at first. When vision floods into your eyes you fall over like a drunkard!! I guess that we had started to use different neural functions to guide our walking in the darkness.

At first I wanted to scream like a newborn baby! And cry “No! No! send me back in!”.

But then…the wonder. For your vision is extraordinary after a period of deprivation. And the sadness of being thrown out of the bliss is replaced by a fascination of all that you see. I remember my friend and I finding a frog on the pathway and we stared at it for ages in wonder and awe as if we had never seen such a creature before.

The next morning I was awake at sunrise and was blessed with a crimson streaked sky. I wept at the beauty! It was as if seeing for the first time. Astounding beauty! It took me nearly an hour to walk the short distance to breakfast because I was transfixed by the vein on each leaf, the hues of colour across a flower petal and the shafts of sunlight in the trees.

At breakfast it felt so painful that I was so far away from each person at my table. So separated by the edges of our physical bodies. Acting like strangers, when really we are all waves on the same vast ocean of love. But how can I explain that to the person next to me at breakfast?

The darkness retreats have changed my life forever. I feel that I have been privileged to get a peek behind the curtains of the stage of life. Since that time I have dedicated my spiritual journey to revealing that Love within this experience of limited form. This, I believe, is one of the deepest purposes of Tantra and Tao, and all of the practices that I have found which bring a deeper sense of that Love are those which I continue to use. I have come to terms with being here in this world of apparent separation, knowing that the deep longing for love is the calling back to the True Nature, to the Source.

 

The Tao of Darkness

The Tao of Darkness

 

Join a Darkness Retreat this Autumn in India!

We have received so much from Darkness retreats, that we want to share one with you!

Guided by Shashi Solluna, Universal Tao Instructor and Om Mokshananda, a Yogi who has built his own personal Darkroom. This retreat will consist of Tao and Tantric meditations and full darkness living.

Find out more via our facebook event page.

Or fill in the form below for more information or to make a booking. Places are very limited for this special retreat.

[contact-form to=’[email protected]’ subject=’Darkness Retreat’][contact-field label=’Name’ type=’name’ required=’1’/][contact-field label=’Email’ type=’email’ required=’1’/][contact-field label=’Gender’ type=’select’ required=’1′ options=’Female,Male’/][contact-field label=’Comment’ type=’textarea’/][/contact-form]

Comments 168

  1. Free UK Chat Rooms

    897189 179570Hi there! I just wish to give an enormous thumbs up for the good info youve right here on this post. I shall be coming once again to your blog for extra soon. 411730

  2. 먹튀신고

    906362 175899This constantly amazes me exactly how weblog owners for example yourself can find the time and also the commitment to keep on composing fantastic weblog posts. Your site isexcellent and 1 of my own ought to read blogs. I basically want to thank you. 682499

  3. www.panselnas

    504742 146665Hmm is anyone else experiencing problems with the images on this blog loading? Im trying to discover out if its a problem on my end or if it is the blog. Any feed-back would be greatly appreciated. 154810

  4. what is seo

    Wow, superb weblog structure! How long have you been blogging for? you made blogging glance easy. The overall glance of your site is great, as well as the content!

  5. CPNS 2018 Kota Cirebon

    878020 276301There is numerous separate years Los angeles Weight reduction eating program with each a person is really a necessity. The pioneer part can be your original finding rid of belonging to the extra pounds. la weight loss 841014

  6. Situs Agen Judi Bola Online Resmi Piala Dunia 2018

    Great – I should certainly pronounce, impressed with your website. I had no trouble navigating through all the tabs as well as related information ended up being truly simple to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it at all. Reasonably unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or anything, web site theme . a tones way for your customer to communicate. Nice task..

  7. Bandar Judi Bola

    I have read some excellent stuff here. Definitely value bookmarking for revisiting. I surprise how so much effort you place to create the sort of excellent informative site.

  8. xxx

    601753 90295I enjoy what you guys are typically up too. This kind of clever function and reporting! Keep up the really excellent works guys Ive added you guys to blogroll. 846729

  9. apkzoid

    Hmm is anyone else having problems with the pictures on this blog loading? I’m trying to find out if its a problem on my end or if it’s the blog. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

  10. apknew

    I have recently started a site, the information you provide on this website has helped me tremendously. Thank you for all of your time & work.

  11. apk downloader

    What’s Going down i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I have found It absolutely useful and it has aided me out loads. I hope to give a contribution & help other customers like its helped me. Good job.

  12. Brittni Mcgrath

    Hello there, simply turned into alert to your blog via Google, and found that it’s truly informative. I am going to be careful for brussels. I’ll appreciate for those who continue this in future. Numerous folks shall be benefited out of your writing. Cheers!

  13. auto insurance by age groups online quotes

    I’m really impressed along with your writing talents as neatly as with the format for your blog. Is that this a paid subject matter or did you customize it yourself? Anyway keep up the nice high quality writing, it’s uncommon to see a nice weblog like this one nowadays..

  14. lebron 15

    Knight finally written pledge to fulfill a military order!Owen Jefferson suspected the contradiction, huang zhan anger: don’t win playoff team and the team retired showdown between the more and more intense, will the rockets in just eliminated the spurs tomorrow will come and warriors in the first fight
    lebron 15

  15. Pingback: Google

  16. adidas iniki runner

    Thank you for sharing superb informations. Your website is so cool. I am impressed by the details that you have on this site. It reveals how nicely you perceive this subject. Bookmarked this website page, will come back for more articles. You, my friend, ROCK! I found simply the information I already searched everywhere and simply couldn’t come across. What a great site.

  17. clasificado de carros en los angeles

    We are a group of volunteers and starting a brand new scheme in our community. Your web site provided us with valuable information to paintings on. You have performed an impressive task and our whole neighborhood will probably be thankful to you.

  18. curry shoes

    NBA players in addition to playing badly, and also an art cells, for two consecutive years in the NBA finals two teams join forces with the warriors and knight, but only two dancers, two teams played neck and neck, dancing is close, take a look at
    curry shoes

  19. hyperdunk 2017

    NBA players in addition to playing badly, and also an art cells, for two consecutive years in the NBA finals two teams join forces with the warriors and knight, but only two dancers, two teams played neck and neck, dancing is close, take a look at
    hyperdunk 2017

  20. kevin durant shoes

    I would like to thnkx for the efforts you’ve put in writing this site. I’m hoping the same high-grade site post from you in the upcoming also. In fact your creative writing skills has encouraged me to get my own website now. Actually the blogging is spreading its wings fast. Your write up is a good example of it.
    kevin durant shoes

  21. kyrie 3

    The NBA playoffs now for today, have determined the warriors in the western conference and will compete for a spot in the finals quota, knight still don’t know who his opponent was.However, even in the face of the celtics or the wizards, presumably knight will be
    kyrie 3

  22. Pingback: discrete mental health counseling

  23. Pingback: illuminati application

  24. home insurance student discount

    I have been exploring for a bit for any high quality articles or blog posts on this sort of area . Exploring in Yahoo I at last stumbled upon this site. Reading this info So i am happy to convey that I have an incredibly good uncanny feeling I discovered just what I needed. I most certainly will make sure to don’t forget this web site and give it a look regularly.

  25. background

    Its like you read my mind! You appear to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message home a little bit, but instead of that, this is magnificent blog. A great read. I’ll definitely be back.

  26. yeezy boost 350

    Thank you for the good writeup. It in truth was once a entertainment account it. Look complex to more added agreeable from you! By the way, how could we be in contact?

  27. Pingback: dental cosmetics

  28. Pingback: Bàn học thông minh chống gù chống cận

  29. aaa login

    Woah! I’m really digging the template/theme of this blog. It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s tough to get that “perfect balance” between user friendliness and appearance. I must say that you’ve done a great job with this. In addition, the blog loads super fast for me on Opera. Excellent Blog!

  30. hartford auto ins

    Its great as your other posts : D, appreciate it for putting up. “It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong.” by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

  31. yacht for sale

    Hello there, just was aware of your weblog via Google, and located that it is truly informative. I am gonna be careful for brussels. I’ll be grateful for those who proceed this in future. A lot of folks shall be benefited out of your writing. Cheers!

  32. Pingback: Scuba Diving Instruction

  33. truecar pricing

    What’s Happening i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I have discovered It absolutely helpful and it has helped me out loads. I’m hoping to give a contribution & help other customers like its helped me. Good job.

  34. Pingback: psychic

  35. Pingback: How To Lose Weight Quickly

  36. creare site

    I am very happy to read this. This is the type of manual that needs to be given and not the random misinformation that is at the other blogs. Appreciate your sharing this greatest doc.

  37. professional investigations

    What i don’t realize is in reality how you are now not really much more neatly-appreciated than you may be now. You’re so intelligent. You realize thus significantly relating to this matter, produced me in my view believe it from so many varied angles. Its like men and women are not fascinated until it is one thing to do with Woman gaga! Your individual stuffs excellent. Always handle it up!

  38. custody of children

    I would like to thnkx for the efforts you’ve put in writing this website. I’m hoping the same high-grade site post from you in the upcoming as well. Actually your creative writing abilities has encouraged me to get my own website now. Actually the blogging is spreading its wings quickly. Your write up is a great example of it.

  39. investigation agency

    Hola! I’ve been following your website for a while now and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out from Kingwood Texas! Just wanted to say keep up the fantastic work!

  40. process server service

    The other day, while I was at work, my cousin stole my apple ipad and tested to see if it can survive a 25 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My iPad is now broken and she has 83 views. I know this is totally off topic but I had to share it with someone!

  41. investigative

    Once I originally commented I clicked the -Notify me when new feedback are added- checkbox and now every time a comment is added I get 4 emails with the same comment. Is there any method you possibly can remove me from that service? Thanks!

  42. good detectives

    Do you mind if I quote a few of your articles as long as I provide credit and sources back to your blog? My blog site is in the very same niche as yours and my visitors would really benefit from some of the information you present here. Please let me know if this ok with you. Many thanks!

  43. cheating boyfriend

    I truly enjoy looking through on this site, it contains fantastic blog posts. “The living is a species of the dead and not a very attractive one.” by Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche.

  44. Pingback: سرور مجازی

  45. Pingback: divorce spell

  46. Pingback: prayer

  47. InventHelp Invention Service

    Hi there! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering which blog platform are you using for this site? I’m getting fed up of WordPress because I’ve had issues with hackers and I’m looking at alternatives for another platform. I would be fantastic if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.

  48. Pingback: remy hair

  49. Pingback: Indian hair

  50. how to invent a product

    I liked up to you will receive performed right here. The cartoon is tasteful, your authored material stylish. nevertheless, you command get got an nervousness over that you would like be handing over the following. sick without a doubt come further in the past again as precisely the similar just about a lot regularly within case you defend this hike.

  51. Pingback: malaysian hair

  52. Pingback: remy peruvian malaysian indian Brazilian Hair

  53. Pingback: Vibrator Bullet

  54. Poker Online

    Excellent site. Lots of helpful info here. I am sending it to some friends ans additionally sharing in delicious. And of course, thanks in your effort!

  55. seo services

    I like this web site very much, Its a real nice position to read and find information. “Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.” by Sir Winston Churchill.

  56. Master Agen Bola

    Heya i am for the first time here. I came across this board and I find It really useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and aid others like you aided me.

  57. Pingback: pubg tshirt

  58. Pingback: فروش طلا

  59. agen judi

    I like the helpful information you provide in your articles. I will bookmark your blog and check again here frequently. I am quite certain I’ll learn lots of new stuff right here! Best of luck for the next!

  60. judi s128 online

    I have been absent for a while, but now I remember why I used to love this web site. Thank you, I will try and check back more often. How frequently you update your website?

  61. agen joker123

    My brother suggested I might like this blog. He was entirely right. This post truly made my day. You can not imagine just how much time I had spent for this info! Thanks!

  62. judi sabung ayam

    Hi would you mind sharing which blog platform you’re using? I’m looking to start my own blog soon but I’m having a hard time choosing between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something completely unique. P.S Apologies for being off-topic but I had to ask!

  63. judi s128 online

    Hello there! I know this is somewhat off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could find a captcha plugin for my comment form? I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having problems finding one? Thanks a lot!

  64. Pingback: دستگاه لیزر

  65. situs judi online

    Wow, marvelous weblog format! How lengthy have you ever been blogging for? you make blogging glance easy. The total look of your site is magnificent, let alone the content material!

  66. agen judi

    I got what you intend, regards for putting up.Woh I am lucky to find this website through google. “Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up by itself.” by Woodrow Wilson.

  67. judi casino

    hey there and thanks for your information – I have certainly picked up something new from proper here. I did alternatively expertise several technical points the use of this website, as I skilled to reload the site a lot of instances previous to I may get it to load correctly. I have been puzzling over if your hosting is OK? Not that I’m complaining, but sluggish loading instances times will sometimes affect your placement in google and can harm your quality rating if advertising and ***********|advertising|advertising|advertising and *********** with Adwords. Anyway I am including this RSS to my email and can look out for a lot extra of your respective intriguing content. Ensure that you replace this again very soon..

  68. judi online

    Just wanna input on few general things, The website style and design is perfect, the written content is very fantastic. “Art for art’s sake makes no more sense than gin for gin’s sake.” by W. Somerset Maugham.

  69. situs judi bola

    Thanks for sharing superb informations. Your website is so cool. I am impressed by the details that you have on this website. It reveals how nicely you perceive this subject. Bookmarked this web page, will come back for extra articles. You, my pal, ROCK! I found simply the information I already searched everywhere and just couldn’t come across. What a perfect website.

  70. judi bola

    I genuinely enjoy reading through on this site, it has superb content. “Wealth and children are the adornment of life.” by Koran.

  71. Honig

    Oh my goodness! a tremendous article dude. Thanks Nevertheless I am experiencing subject with ur rss . Don’t know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anybody getting similar rss problem? Anybody who is aware of kindly respond. Thnkx

  72. judi domino online

    I absolutely love your blog and find the majority of your post’s to be precisely what I’m looking for. can you offer guest writers to write content to suit your needs? I wouldn’t mind publishing a post or elaborating on a few of the subjects you write with regards to here. Again, awesome site!

  73. situs judi

    Hello there, I discovered your blog via Google while looking for a similar matter, your website got here up, it appears good. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

  74. judi poker

    Great tremendous things here. I am very satisfied to peer your article. Thank you a lot and i’m having a look ahead to contact you. Will you please drop me a e-mail?

  75. situs judi poker

    You can certainly see your skills in the work you write. The world hopes for even more passionate writers like you who aren’t afraid to say how they believe. Always go after your heart.

  76. situs poker

    I enjoy what you guys are up too. This kind of clever work and coverage! Keep up the amazing works guys I’ve included you guys to my personal blogroll.

  77. notificações push

    Good blog! I truly love how it is easy on my eyes and the data are well written. I am wondering how I could be notified when a new post has been made. I have subscribed to your feed which must do the trick! Have a great day!

  78. acim

    I’ve been absent for some time, but now I remember why I used to love this web site. Thanks , I’ll try and check back more frequently. How frequently you update your website?

  79. online

    This is very interesting, You’re a very skilled blogger. I’ve joined your rss feed and look ahead to seeking extra of your fantastic post. Additionally, I have shared your web site in my social networks!

  80. mp3

    I haven’t checked in here for some time since I thought it was getting boring, but the last several posts are good quality so I guess I’ll add you back to my everyday bloglist. You deserve it my friend 🙂

  81. acim

    I am not sure where you are getting your info, but great topic. I needs to spend some time learning more or understanding more. Thanks for great info I was looking for this info for my mission.

  82. lodges in South Africa

    Hello there I am so happy I found your site, I really found you by error, while I was browsing on Aol for something else, Nonetheless I am here now and would just like to say kudos for a marvelous post and a all round exciting blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to go through it all at the minute but I have saved it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a great deal more, Please do keep up the superb work.

  83. david hoffmeister

    You can certainly see your skills in the paintings you write. The arena hopes for more passionate writers such as you who aren’t afraid to mention how they believe. Always go after your heart. “If you feel yourself falling, let go and glide.” by Steffen Francisco.

  84. inventhelp headquarters

    Nice post. I be taught one thing tougher on different blogs everyday. It should all the time be stimulating to learn content from different writers and apply slightly something from their store. I’d want to use some with the content material on my blog whether you don’t mind. Natually I’ll offer you a link in your internet blog. Thanks for sharing.

  85. a course in miracles

    I liked up to you will obtain carried out proper here. The caricature is attractive, your authored material stylish. nonetheless, you command get bought an shakiness over that you want be delivering the following. unwell surely come more in the past again as precisely the same nearly very steadily inside of case you defend this hike.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *